Returning……

I have been meditating every morning for the last month. I felt it’s effects the first day I began: more focus, ability to sit for longer periods of time, increased desire to do what feels right for me. The not so pleasurable thing that happens is that I begin to get more in touch with my feelings. They become more intensified. Old patterns seem like they are dropping on my head like a family of baby grand pianos. The feelings and patterns make me want to eat my emotions away which in fact is an old pattern itself. I find myself stuffing my face late at night.
I told a friend of mine about this recently. I asked him for advice on what I should be doing differently. Should I be going to therapy? Should I stop meditating? Should I stop eating at night?
He said, “Why don’t you try just letting it be?” Just let it be. Just keep on the same track I am on, going deeper within, calming my anxieties, trying to take care of myself.
Yes, that is the answer. Let it be. Watch what is going on, stop worrying about any of it and let it move through me. Let the feelings happen, let the patterns do what they will do and keep meditating, keep going for walks, keep taking care of myself when I feel like it and notice when I’m not taking care of myself. Pay attention, stay the course and see what happens.

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